gratitude & life.
Several years ago, I went through a bit of a collapse in my life. I had just finished university, I was working my first desk job as a marketing manager (which sucked so so bad), my relationship of nearly five years had hit the wall, and I had picked up a drinking problem.
It’s safe to say that I hit a wall.
Three years on and I have finally crawled out of this pit. I wish I had more time to explain the depths I went to bring myself to where I am, but I can unpack a little bit I suppose.
Along the way I had pushed decisions further down the road. I let my boundaries and my integrity slide for others to take advantage of. Safe to say that I had made my own bed of misery. I think we all make decisions that, in the moment allow us to fit in and to seek comfort in our environment. It’s not wrong, but it doesn’t work if you don’t take care of yourself. I had lost respect for myself in the fog of this period. Now, I still let myself slide for others and I make decisions that do not support my growth - that’s okay, I am merely human.
However, the thing that brought me back, the thing I set out to talk about today was gratitude. It’s sounds absurd that this was the ‘thing’ but when you don’t have purpose or gratitude you don’t have anything to cushion you in this moment of peril. I spent most of my days during this chapter racing moment to moment. Fulfilling the cups of others and sealing my demise (dramatic, I know). I just wanted the external world to accept me.
I now realize that it was my internal world I needed to accept - I had it inverted.
so how do I get to this place of self acceptance in an over externalized world of validation?
the answer is gratitude.
gratitude is the gift of appreciating the small moments. giving thanks to the things that bring you joy, abundance, and intention. everyday I sit at my local coffee shop (shoutout to Hide+Seek) and do a check in. I revisit what I appreciate, what good is my life, and a reflection on where I have come. now it does become habitual and loses a bit of meaning, but the practice of gratitude is what makes life more palatable and enjoyable. I mean we will not be surviving this life, world. so we might as well enjoy it. and at the end of everyday, I lay in bed and do an end of day check in. I list three things that I am grateful and what I can improve.
I have continued this practice for over 380 days.
Yes, it is a habit and it is really hard to do sometimes. But here is the thing, it brought me back to me. it brought me back to that person who is weird, wonderful, and fucking awesome. gratitude is my weapon. gratitude made me appreciate my experience and how far I have come in my journey.
gratitude is a key to a life full of intention, appreciation, and growth. remember who you are. remember how you impact others. remember how you feel when you hold yourself in a place of kindness and acceptance. remember we can all be loved but we can only fulfilled by the love that we give ourselves. it’s a pleasure for me to write this for you as you and I are the same. our story may be different, but we both are human and are having an experience called life.
meet life with gratitude and see how far you can go.
